Seniors Start Slide, Realize College Is So Far Away

Gentlemen, the beginning of the end is upon us. With one final year remaining in our tenure on the hill, we must unite and leave our mark. Our unity is already shining on the football field this season. Led by seniors Ty “Hammer” Allen, Pollocks 1 and 2, and Mike “White Knight” McGuire, this year’s team is on a mission for greatness. After a 6-0 start, this squad is taking its already memorable season up against some rivals in Ensworth and BA these next few weeks. Senior right guard Palmer Thombs, class stud and face of the franchise, has recently criticized QB1’s turnover tendencies. In response, we must raise the question: Why were unblocked defenders in his face? Just a thought for the audience to ponder. With the football team striving to leave its mark on history, the infamous Breakfast Boys have already left their “stamp” on the season through bleacher-gate. We encourage everyone to keep up the rowdy enthusiasm, but in a more channeled way that is focused on hyping up our brothers on the field. The Breakfast Club must be out in full force over the last half of this season to help bring the boys out on top. 

In the academic realm, AP English has proven to be the most loved class on campus. General Cal Bryan enjoys diction so much that we have even found him to sleep with his grammar book! Great dedication, Cal! Señor Caballero Andante (James McKnight) has had quite the ride thus far in the fabled Spanish IV AP. He has suffered the wrath of the difficult class, but we know that he will only rise from this valley. Dr. Lech’s 8th period Economics class has proven to be one of legends. The verbal abuse directed at unspecified students has been relentless and will certainly continue throughout the rest of the year. His “worst to first” strategy has helped to separate the men from the boys at the start of the year. Many thought that Statistics would be a great way to start the senior slide early. However, Coach Jackson has proven that not to be the case. Instead of studying, Evans Looney has been focusing on derailing the sophomores in the class which has resulted in the plummet of his grade. Watch your mouth now! 

Extra curricularly, McClain Portis has been working on an upcoming hype video along with a solo feature on the Big Man on Campus, QB1, Ty Allen. Outside of this project, however, the two have seemed to encounter some tension. We hope the two can resolve their differences. Outside of this banter, the class of 2018 has really bonded as one. We are excited to see what else this year has in store for us. Keep your nose to the grindstone, gents