MBA Athletic Hoodie: Nothing says “7th Grade” like a mass-ordered MBA athletic hoodie. Although this piece of clothing has the durability of a sheet of single-ply toilet paper, it is worn by determined junior schoolers when the temperature is below 0 or above 100 degrees. Many teachers, such as Mr. Anderson and Mr. Spiegel, have grown so tired of seeing the hoodie that they have decided to make their tests as grueling as possible in hopes that they can sweat the hoodies off of their students. So far, their attempts have been unsuccesful. Similarly, many graduates of MBA have confirmed a rumor that the hoodie can only be removed after a student fails his first test. Such a claim sheds light on the mystery of why the smartest students in each class often take the longest to cast off their hoodies.
Barbour Jacket: A classic from across the pond, these jackets can be seen sprouting up on campus whenever the weather starts to turn a bit chilly (anything under 85 degrees). Don’t pretend you have ever put birds into the “game pouch.”
Tweed Jacket: Nothing says pretentious academia quite like a nice tweed jacket. In 1981, after the film Chariots of Fire was released, the board of trustees was so moved that they mandated every teacher own a jacket. Some teachers, doctors, and Lechturers have, of course, taken the mandate as a sort of challenge to see how far they can go to prove to everyone that they are different from the students they teach.
Varsity Jacket: If you have ever wanted a jacket that doubles as a glorified participation trophy and one of the loudest pieces of clothing known to man, get yourself a varsity jacket. Not only will the swoosh of the satin jacket distract your classmates when they are trying to take a test, but it will also let everyone on campus know where you are, always. The qualifications for attaining a jacket in a sport differ in amount of time but are equal in effort. For example, it takes about three years to get one from playing football or wrestling and only a week to get one for rifle. Again, different in amount of time, equal in effort.